Run for office? No. I’ve slept with too many women. I’ve done too many drugs, and I’ve been to too many parties.
This could easily be the mantra for any stereotypical, unmarried man and rightfully so. Especially when one finds out, it came from today’s most notorious, eligible bachelor, George Clooney. Clooney – like all eternal bachelors – has one distinctive trait that separates him from a world of commonality. He’s never found a girl who moved him enough to answer the Beyoncé call to “put a ring on it,” and oddly enough, it is the same trait that can ring commonality to a list filled with of philosophers, artists, political leaders, media personalities and scientists. Whether they didn’t see the point, were too focused on other goals or simply weren’t the marrying kind, one thing is for certain; the noteworthy men on this list are just as famous for what they did as for what they didn’t… get hitched, of course!
While Mr. Clooney may be the most recognizable solo act today, he is by no means a pioneer of wedding day. Dating all the way back to the 15th Century, Michelangelo, a true Renaissance man, made it distinguishingly obvious that his work, which includes some of the most renowned masterpieces in history, was all the fulfillment he needed. Instead of marrying a wife who would bear him a great brood, Michelangelo painted, sculpted, engineered and crafted his offspring all on his own, as he considered each piece one of his children.
This poetic attachment to art could also be the reasons behind why men like Sir Joshua Reynolds, an influential painter who was among the founders of the Royal Academy or Henri de Toulouse-Latrec, a provocative French post-impressionist never married. One might even consider it to be a theme in the art world, as Vincent von Gogh, famed for his vibrantly colored, emotion inducing works, also chose to never get on one knee for lady. (This may or may not have also been affected by the bouts of anxiety, mental illness and ear chopping… just a thought.)
Famed artists, Vincent van Gogh and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec never married. (Photos Courtesy of Google Images)
Regardless of the reason, however, it seems many influential bachelors are often times more defined by their love of work, rather than their love of family. Take for instance, the great brains of Sir Isaac Newton, considered by many to be one of the most influential men in history, Ludwig van Beethoven, a brilliant German composer and pianist and Blaise Pascal, both a physicist and philosopher who were all infamous for throwing themselves into their work. Marriage must seem insignificant when compared to discovering gravity or composing, conducting and performing some of the world’s most powerful music… while deaf.
President James Buchanan is the only US president who never took the plunge. (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)
No matter what, there seems to be a definite correlation between a man’s ability to plunge head first into work and not down the aisle. Even in the political world, generally depicted with a picturesque, nuclear family, there are a number of men vetoing marriage. President James Buchanan not only remains the only U.S President to come out of Pennsylvania, but he is also the only one to never get married. He is not, however, the only politician. Among some of the other elected officials to populate Single Town are Ralph Nadar, a political activist who’s made a name for himself running for president and Ed Koch, U.S. congressman and former Mayor of New York City.
It just doesn't seem right for the "Sexiest Man Alive" not to get married and make babies! Share the wealth, George! (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)
It seems every walk of life has a laundry list of bachelors filling it, but none more notably, than the one good ‘ole George Clooney represents – the entertainment world. Fellow actor and multiple Academy Award winner, Al Pacino ranks among the top of the list of men who have never married and is accompanied by the likes of comedian and television host, Bill Maher, as well as 80’s pop icon, Billy Idol. Apparently, for him, it was NOT “a nice day for a white wedding.”
Spice Girls: Girl Power's Finest (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)
Who said it’s every little girl’s lifelong dream to get married? Liars, that’s who. Several women – many prominent in finesse, historically altering by design and refined through their presence – have found solace outside the confines of marriage. Girl Power! (I can’t ever seem to say that without being British) at its finest, the list of women to evade the altar includes everyone from nuclear physicists and women’s rights activists to haute couture fashion designers and media moguls. They’re a group that is as eclectic as they are iconic and legendary for not only what they do, but who they choose not to do it with.
Even in “the days of Yore” when it was practically mandated for every woman to marry, several ladies chose to go against the grain. Among the first and most remarkable is Joan of Arc, who chose sainthood and war heroism over nuptials and newlywed bliss. She scoured battlefields, instead of dishes and made it quite obvious that God was the only man for her. Considered the national heroine of France, Joan of Arc proved that behind every good man – or in this case, and army of men – is an even better woman, but not always vice versa.
Joan of Arc + the "Virgin Queen" Elizabeth I (Photos Courtesy of Google Images)
And she wasn’t the only historical figure to choose valor over vows. Perhaps among the most influential and noteworthy would be Elizabeth I of England. Better known as the Queen Elizabeth, she reigned over an entire nation without, despite many attempts to force her hand, the matrimonial backing of a man. Elizabeth I was courted by several suitors, and while speculation on her non-nuptial lifestyle are still debated, it was quite clear she was nowhere near as concerned with marriage as the population surrounding her, which is the same sentiment shared by many other of her eminent successors.
Fashion Icon, Coco Chanel (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)
Civil and women’s rights activist, Susan B. Anthony and the celebrated nuclear physicist, Lise Meitner were two others that poo-poo’ed the thought of marriage. Not to mention inspiration revolutionary, Helen Keller, iconic fashion pioneer, Coco Chanel and Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Jane Addams… all of which never heard the wedding bells chime. (Probably because they were too busy making a difference – duh!)
There were also a number of critically acclaimed authors, hailed for their abilities to evoke passion and spark debate through their literary works, who chose a pen and paper as more suitable companions than a man. Still found in every classroom, library and literary timeline around the world, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Louisa May Alcott, as well as the Brontë sisters, Emily and Anne, never took the plunge.
Oprah Winfrey... as if it even needed a caption (Photo Courtesy of Google Images)
Not taking “the plunge,” however, can sometimes cause just as much of a splash as taking it would, especially this day in age. With the media at an all time explosive high, women like political activist Condoleeza Rice and Academy Award winning actress, Diane Keaton are sometimes thrown unwanted scrutiny for their choice not to marry, but no one, honestly NO ONE, has been debated about over her choice not to marry than Oprah Winfrey. The woman practically wrote the book on how-to-be-a-success story, and she did it all without taking vows.
After years of being the face of day time TV, Oprah has been known to shine the light on the topic of herself. Almost laughingly, she can joke about how even after countless awards, innumerable life changing interviews and incalculable donations, there are still people who still could view her as incomplete because she never towed the line and took the vows. It’s alright Oprah, even if you never marry, I can think of about one billion reasons you’ll never be left wanting. Go ahead with your bad self, girl… go… a… head!
In youth, many children find solace in “loving” inanimate objects. They love their new box of crayons. They love their stuffed bear, Chuckles. They even love their favorite brand of cereal. Regardless of what children choose to love, there is one age old question that inevitably follows each emphatic declaration: “If you love (fill in the blank) so much, why don’t you marry it?!”
As it turns out, this is a much more serious question than one might think. So serious, in fact, that recently, a woman did just that. Suffering from a disorder commonly referred to as objectum-sexuality or OS, Amy Wolfe of Pennsylvania found comfort in marrying an object rather than a human. (No need to read it again. You heard me right.)
Originally brought to the forefront over a decade ago when Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, an animated woman from Liden, a small town in northern Sweden, married the Berlin Wall (I strongly recommend you view her Web site to reeeeally appreciate this phenomenon), OS has since started to take hold of others. Because people with OS often express strong feelings of love, passion, attraction and commitment towards manmade structures, they find it incredibly natural to bind themselves eternally to them.
Berliner-Mauer even speaks of the Berlin Wall as any other woman would her own husband. Using terms like “we” and “our,” she asserts her now “retired” husband (aka the Berlin Wall) and she neither one like to travel and are still as much in love today as the first day they met. (Again, no need to re-read.)
Wolfe, the most recent OS case – who appropriately changed her surname to Weber, after the manufacturer of her main squeeze – began courting her love, an eighty foot gondola ride 1001 Nachts, when she was thirteen years old. Claiming she was instantaneously attracted to “him,” her love for 1001 Nachts has motivated her to take him “for a spin” over 3,000 times and painstakingly make the 160 mile round trip to visit at least ten times annually.
Against all odds (and several judgmental critics), Wolfe stands by her decision and “man,” declaring to share a relationship that is both physically and spiritually fulfilling. She doesn’t even get angry when other people ride him! I mean, really… if that doesn’t say true love… I don’t know what does!
Oh, and did I mention that this isn’t just any fairground ride… it’s a giant magic carpet. Increds, I know. Therefore, I’m handing in my official nomination that “A Whole New World” be their song de jure. Corny? Maybe. Fitting? AB-SO-STINKIN-LUTELY!
I’m baaaaaack! And there’s no need to say it… I know you missed me – hehe! The honeymoon – or as I have officially dubbed it: the honeyswoon – was AHHH to the MAAAZING! The Mister and I had the most fabulous time and would like to applaud not only the entire island of Aruba but the wonderful people who make it such a magical place. After a week in paradise, it was clear that the enchantment of the island was a direct relection of the people call it home. They made it very easy to make each day the BEST day of our vacation, and for that I would like to respectfully extend a nod of my head, tip of my hat and one big standing ovation in your direction.
We stayed at the Aruba Marriott Resort and spent the majority of our days lounging about soaking up the sun, sucking down the “Aruba Aribas” and straight BLASTIN! Below are some of my favorite honeymoon pics! And be on the lookout for Friday’s post… where I will feature photos from our favorite night out on a little extravaganza known as the Kukoo Kunuku!
Just our view everyday... rough, I know!
Yep, that's the water.
Pretty lights inside the casino!
Just hanging out with iguanas... we named this one Antonio, for his studly nature.
I mean really?? The WATER!
I mean really?? The VIEW!!
Purrrty flowers :)
And last, but certainly not least… my favorite picture from the trip… Tan Man doing his best impression of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model – haha!
I’ll say it. I’m an avid Facebooker. In fact, I’m one of the original (self proclaimed “founding”) members. Making its debut during my sophomore year of college, I was amongst the first to jump on board. I’ve been around so long, in fact, I can remember when FB only allowed each of its members ONE profile picture, ONE info page and limited access to email and wall posts… period… that’s it… end ‘o’ story.
The Facebook of Yore had no bells. It had no whistles. Junior high kids and Great Aunt Margie’s weren’t allowed in and there sure as heck was no room for photo albums, mini (or mega) applications, Mafia Wars, Marshmallow Peep Exchanges or anything else of that nature. It was an exclusive club with minimal attractions… and I liked it.
And while I still loaf it today, I’d be lying if I said what I signed up for all those years ago, even remotely compares to the modern day Facebooking Frenzy. These days, you (or your 13 year old cousin and Great Aunt Margie, for that matter) can do just about anything, find just about any one and more overly, keep tabs on all of the above – pending security setting, of course… giving proof that my Senior year report, strategically titled: Facebook: Giving Hope to Stalkers Everywhere was a truth ahead of its time.
Perhaps some of you are thinking that “stalker” is too strong of a word, but I’m afraid I’d have to call your bluff. Because if you’ve ever called up a friend to question a status update that came across your News Feed for confirmation OR looked up a current man’s ex-girlfriends just to compare hottness levels OR used the term “Facebook Offish” OR (my personal favorite) if you’ve ever found yourself out on the town and run into someone you “think” you know, only to realize you recognize them because you’ve seen them post several things on a someone else’s Wall… please know, you’re not alone, and it’s okay.
Case ‘n’ point: my Mister proposed to me on a Tuesday. I updated my relationship status on Wednesday, and by Thursday, my wall had already generated 76 (yes, 76!) congratulatory posts. Yep, George Orwell was right, Big Brother IS watching; it’s just that sometimes he comes shaped as your bored friends and family members, perusing through Facebook when they should be working. Haha! But – for cereal – I’d be lying, if I didn’t say I revel in all the excitement and well wishes! It’s an amazing tool to keep in touch with old friends and share pictures from the latest and greatest adventures. It’s a place to swap recipes, create groups, invite friends and join clubs. It’s increds!
But sometimes I wonder if its status is getting a little too increds… perhaps a little too important. Take this couple, for example, who made it a part of their wedding ceremony! Too and much.
I’m baaaaack! I know you all missed me – it’s inevitable when you reach my level of fabulosity. Haha! For cereal, though, I’m super excited to announce that this is my first official post as THEE Mrs. Dietz, and in a word, I’m pumped! The Mister and me’s wedding day went off without a hitch (okay, there were “hitches” but who cares???), and it has easily over taken all previous days and captured the ultra elusive spot as my most favorite day ever!! I’m head over heels with gratitude for all the ahhh to the mazing work everyone did in order to make it happen! So, thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU for all your over the top support and effort! It truly means the world!
Now, let’s get down to all the juicy deets, shall we? One of the best parts of our wedding was the photo booth we set at our reception. We successfully (and by “we” I mean the Fabulous Jessika Feltz Photography Team!) launched the most ultimate photo arena this side of the Miss’ippi, and I suspect that many others will want to follow suit. Photo booths, honestly, are one of the best and easiest ways to get your guests involved, as well as capture wedding day memories (and advice) that would’ve otherwise been lost!
While the Mister and I toyed with the idea of renting a photo booth for the big day, we couldn’t be happier that we altered the plans slightly and had a “prom posing” picture taking area set up instead. Fit with a white backdrop, perfect lighting, ridiculous props and a white board for special messages, this über unique section of the reception produced some seriously incredible (and outrageous) results. Here are some that I dug the most!
My Sister-in-Law with her SILs and the infamous bedazzled jean jacket!
Three of my little cousins - showing off their inner rockstars!
One of my bridesmaids with her hubby, brother and mom - what a fam!
Haha! My Mister with my co-workers! Classic!
My new In-Laws, sporting their ultimate saying, "Yes, my love!"
Yep, just me, some friends and one killer mousstachio - sheer perfection!
A group of friends showing off their Sunday Best - haha!
The Mister & Me with our fabulous photogs - Jessika & Jimmy Feltz! (Oh! And Arnold - long story)
My uncle sporting the gag gift Tan Man got him for Christmas one year - increds!
Run for office? No. I’ve slept with too many women. I’ve done too many drugs, and I’ve been to too many parties. 
