Another One Bites the Dust: Why Celebrity Crushes Hurt so Bad

photo courtesy of people.com

Shortly after Monday’s post - Who is Hollywood’s HOTTEST Bride-to-Be? – went live, I went home, turned on E! and discovered some news that struck me to my very core… Orlando Bloom, the man who was my screen saver for a good portion of my freshmen and sophomore years of college, is now officially off the market.  <Siiiiiiiiiighhhhhhh>  How could Legolas do this to me??  I thought I was supposed to be his Mrs. Greenleaf?!?!

**If you’re not a huge action / adventure / fantasy nerd like me, the reference to Legolas Greenleaf is in regards to Orlando’s character in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Yep.  Cool points, noted and awarded.

Anyhoot, as you might have already deduced, Orlando Bloom announced Monday that he joined the ranks of the newly engaged after popping the question to long time girlfriend, Miranda Kerr.  I mean, come on!  Let’s not get caught up in the minor details of me already being married, her already being a Victoria’s Secret starlet and the two of them already dating for 3 years, shall we??  And let’s focus on the more important facts… 

Fact 1:  I was this man’s (self proclaimed) biggest fan for years!  Fact 2:  I could quote all three LOTR’s from beginning to end, including additional footage, without hesitation.  Fact 3:  I sat through Elizabethtown, borderline the world’s worst romantic comedy, not once, but twice for his royal hottness and Fact 5:  I would soooo work a wedding dress tenfold harder than any perfectly shaped, runway *Angel…

…

Okay, Fact 5 maaaaay be stretching it a bit, but that’s neither here nor there.  What is here and there is the fact that yet another Hollywood hottie is tying the knot and breaking my heart.  So, in conclusion, might I just say (and in a bit more realistic tone) that I wish them both the best of luck and many, MANY years of happiness!

Oh, and… I love you, Tanner.  The “divorce’esque” talk was merely for show :) :) :)

Leave a Comment June 23, 2010